Drmarman
2004-07-24 07:02:03 UTC
Ancient Memories
Part Three
Ancient Memories
"Whispers journey far in the endless worlds.
"Echoing across the hills…calling through the valleys…stirring
thoughts to dream and wonder. Breathed like a sigh from the worlds beyond.
Shadows of an Ancient Memory…
"Do they call to live again? Or do they call like aged spirit to die?"
I wrote these words in my notebooks after visiting some Indian ruins in
Arizona. Images came to me of children dancing and playing upon the dust. Women
with backs bent in work and voyagers with weary muscles from a too-long
journey. The pictures seemed like more than just my imagination.
I was in a strange state of consciousness when I wrote the above words. I felt
as if a part of me was suspended outside of time and this vision was calling
out for me to see it. It came like a seed thought floating on the wind that
awoke and sprang to life within me, playing out recorded images from long ago.
Yet it also seemed like a part of my own life. Were these my own Ancient
Memories bubbling up from my own subconscious? Or did they belong to the outer
world?
I followed the experience further. I had the impression that this stream of
consciousness was speaking out from the land itself and was calling out to be
heard again. By listening to this long lost song, was I bringing it back to
life? Or, by being conscious of this memory was I putting old patterns to rest?
I didn’t know.
I had read about the Third Initiation and how it related to the Causal Plane.
It is a dimension where one can see the Time Track and read one’s own past
lives like a deck of cards spread out in an arc before one, or so I had been
told. But what I was experiencing seemed like nothing I had read. This vision
was coming through my own being. I felt like some kind of radio that was
suddenly receiving signals that had been bouncing around the ionosphere for
eons, yet the whole thing was playing through the fiber of my consciousness as
if it was a part of me.
I had studied everything I could about the Causal Plane and imagined that I
knew what it all meant, but what was happening wasn’t even close to what I
expected. I thought that observing the time track would be like watching a
movie or looking at photographs from long ago, and that I would feel detached
about what I saw. I imagined it more like some kind of intellectual idea, as if
I would suddenly be aware of the patterns behind the world.
I didn’t realize that my own being would become a part of these patterns, or
that what belonged to me and what belonged to the world would seem almost
indistinguishable. I didn’t feel like I was gaining new knowledge, as I
expected, but more as if I was now part of a bigger mystery. The silent
questions returned, and I wondered who “I” really was. Was I separate from
the world, or was the world just using me as a voice for its own message?
I had imagined my life as being under my own free will. I thought I had been
making my own decisions. But now I began to have the feeling that my choices
were not completely my own. Of course I knew that our lives are influenced by
the culture we are raised in, but now I was seeing it differently. Now I
realized that the world itself, or something even larger than the world, was
expressing itself through the lives of the people. I had been unconsciously
playing a role in some larger drama beyond my own awareness.
I felt perplexed. But this wasn’t something I could solve by thinking about
it. You can’t solve the question of your own Self by intellectual reasoning.
I was going to have to learn what this meant by living it. But what was it that
I was living? It seemed much larger than anything I had known before.
Visions like this one would come upon me suddenly during that time, and bring
with them strange feelings and images I couldn’t remember from anywhere else.
Then they would end just as unexpectedly. It was hard to let these stories hang
in the air like they did, with unfinished endings and unanswered questions. But
I had no idea what should follow. They just seemed to exist this way, like
intercepted transmissions without a conclusion.
One day I sat down to brush up on a little writing. The keys of my typewriter
had been silent too long. I thought I would warm them up a bit. I was expecting
nothing, yet suddenly realized I was listening in on thoughts from around the
world. I put down the words as they came into my awareness. Bit by bit,
unfolding before me, I found a story crossing time and space.
Simultaneity
The sound of the flute came from over the hills. All my sheep, every last
woolly, grew quiet and raised their heads. Otherwise, I wouldn't have heard it
with all their constant bleatings and racket. It was a soft sound, yet
haunting. Its direction…hard to reckon…perhaps from the hermit's cave…or
from the northern hill. It could even have come from the forest. The wind might
have carried the sound from anywhere.
* * * * *
I hear the call of the mountain god. The sounds of Bird and Monkey go silent
and Earth trembles beneath my feet. I know the call, and shed my skin like
Snake. My spirit dances with Wind and laughs in Dream. I smell Jungle Flower in
all the air.
* * * * *
As I recall, we were in the conference room, the five of us, that is. Jackson
was getting a beating from Tuberillo for blowing the last deal, when we heard
this noise. It sounded like the whoosh of wind.
"Frank," I said, "your window's blown open!"
Frank jumped for his office door, expecting a whirlwind of papers to swear at,
but everything was quiet. I don't know why, but it seemed awfully funny.
Tuberillo had the biggest laugh. Frank just smiled. We didn't get much work
done that day, but we had a pretty good time after that just shootin' the bull.
I think it was one of the nicest days I had with ol' Tuber, because I saw he
was a real person, too, under his gruff exterior.
* * * * *
I don't take much with memories, schedules and shit like that. Get it? I say
live life day by day. Ya spend your mind on a clock and ya lose it. Get it? But
that day there, yeah, it was a high one. I was jammin' with Johnny and Slips. I
play drums. We were movin' nice and smooth. Slips had some far-out riffs, when
Johnny – like that – drops out. Johnny's face kind of lights up strange,
like he was hearin' somethin', and I get these weird shivers up my back. Next
thing you know, we're playin' a new hit. Just like that! It blew our minds.
* * * * *
Oh, yes, I remember. I remember it well, for that was the day when the wind
became soft, and the desert grew quiet. My thoughts turned calm, like smooth
waters. Spirit Eagle called to me, but the sound came into me roaring, until
death took me. My body slept, but my sight awakened. And I must see the hunting
grounds, and I must feel such freedom, and I must know such secrets that leave
me hollow now, until death may come again.
* * * * *
God winks and universes quiver. IT's voice rolls forth, the Sound, and all Soul
is touched, all time, all space. What can be simultaneity but the touch of ECK?
* * * * *
What a strange experience, to be able to witness all of Time and Space in an
instant!
I knew that whether this story was literally true or not did not matter. I had
already learned that lesson, so I didn’t even try worrying about whether this
was True or False. But the odd thing was that when I tried to find the meaning
behind this experience or to understand the feelings and emotion of what I had
just written, like I did during my Second Initiation, I found my previous tools
failed me. I could not see behind the veil.
Apparently, this inner experience was not woven from a fabric of imagination.
It was not just a metaphor. This was some kind of reality at a different level.
As months passed by, I realized that the ground rules had changed again. The
lessons I had learned couldn’t unlock the mystery I was now facing. In fact,
I sensed that there was no way to figure out the meaning of this new state of
consciousness. I was simply going to have to live it to see what it really was.
This turned out to be the only course of action that worked. I would simply
experience and observe. Gradually I became more familiar with this new
dimension of life. Like getting to know a friend, the more time I spent with
it, the more I began to recognize it for what it was.
I was becoming connected to something that reached across time – something
that was a part of the very causation of reality. However, I was not prepared
for dealing with all the new feelings and thoughts that began flowing through
me. I suddenly found myself with all kinds of problems. I began struggling with
a whole range of inner troubles and conflicts, but I couldn’t separate out
which ones were my own or what I was picking up from the world.
END POST
Part Three
Ancient Memories
"Whispers journey far in the endless worlds.
"Echoing across the hills…calling through the valleys…stirring
thoughts to dream and wonder. Breathed like a sigh from the worlds beyond.
Shadows of an Ancient Memory…
"Do they call to live again? Or do they call like aged spirit to die?"
I wrote these words in my notebooks after visiting some Indian ruins in
Arizona. Images came to me of children dancing and playing upon the dust. Women
with backs bent in work and voyagers with weary muscles from a too-long
journey. The pictures seemed like more than just my imagination.
I was in a strange state of consciousness when I wrote the above words. I felt
as if a part of me was suspended outside of time and this vision was calling
out for me to see it. It came like a seed thought floating on the wind that
awoke and sprang to life within me, playing out recorded images from long ago.
Yet it also seemed like a part of my own life. Were these my own Ancient
Memories bubbling up from my own subconscious? Or did they belong to the outer
world?
I followed the experience further. I had the impression that this stream of
consciousness was speaking out from the land itself and was calling out to be
heard again. By listening to this long lost song, was I bringing it back to
life? Or, by being conscious of this memory was I putting old patterns to rest?
I didn’t know.
I had read about the Third Initiation and how it related to the Causal Plane.
It is a dimension where one can see the Time Track and read one’s own past
lives like a deck of cards spread out in an arc before one, or so I had been
told. But what I was experiencing seemed like nothing I had read. This vision
was coming through my own being. I felt like some kind of radio that was
suddenly receiving signals that had been bouncing around the ionosphere for
eons, yet the whole thing was playing through the fiber of my consciousness as
if it was a part of me.
I had studied everything I could about the Causal Plane and imagined that I
knew what it all meant, but what was happening wasn’t even close to what I
expected. I thought that observing the time track would be like watching a
movie or looking at photographs from long ago, and that I would feel detached
about what I saw. I imagined it more like some kind of intellectual idea, as if
I would suddenly be aware of the patterns behind the world.
I didn’t realize that my own being would become a part of these patterns, or
that what belonged to me and what belonged to the world would seem almost
indistinguishable. I didn’t feel like I was gaining new knowledge, as I
expected, but more as if I was now part of a bigger mystery. The silent
questions returned, and I wondered who “I” really was. Was I separate from
the world, or was the world just using me as a voice for its own message?
I had imagined my life as being under my own free will. I thought I had been
making my own decisions. But now I began to have the feeling that my choices
were not completely my own. Of course I knew that our lives are influenced by
the culture we are raised in, but now I was seeing it differently. Now I
realized that the world itself, or something even larger than the world, was
expressing itself through the lives of the people. I had been unconsciously
playing a role in some larger drama beyond my own awareness.
I felt perplexed. But this wasn’t something I could solve by thinking about
it. You can’t solve the question of your own Self by intellectual reasoning.
I was going to have to learn what this meant by living it. But what was it that
I was living? It seemed much larger than anything I had known before.
Visions like this one would come upon me suddenly during that time, and bring
with them strange feelings and images I couldn’t remember from anywhere else.
Then they would end just as unexpectedly. It was hard to let these stories hang
in the air like they did, with unfinished endings and unanswered questions. But
I had no idea what should follow. They just seemed to exist this way, like
intercepted transmissions without a conclusion.
One day I sat down to brush up on a little writing. The keys of my typewriter
had been silent too long. I thought I would warm them up a bit. I was expecting
nothing, yet suddenly realized I was listening in on thoughts from around the
world. I put down the words as they came into my awareness. Bit by bit,
unfolding before me, I found a story crossing time and space.
Simultaneity
The sound of the flute came from over the hills. All my sheep, every last
woolly, grew quiet and raised their heads. Otherwise, I wouldn't have heard it
with all their constant bleatings and racket. It was a soft sound, yet
haunting. Its direction…hard to reckon…perhaps from the hermit's cave…or
from the northern hill. It could even have come from the forest. The wind might
have carried the sound from anywhere.
* * * * *
I hear the call of the mountain god. The sounds of Bird and Monkey go silent
and Earth trembles beneath my feet. I know the call, and shed my skin like
Snake. My spirit dances with Wind and laughs in Dream. I smell Jungle Flower in
all the air.
* * * * *
As I recall, we were in the conference room, the five of us, that is. Jackson
was getting a beating from Tuberillo for blowing the last deal, when we heard
this noise. It sounded like the whoosh of wind.
"Frank," I said, "your window's blown open!"
Frank jumped for his office door, expecting a whirlwind of papers to swear at,
but everything was quiet. I don't know why, but it seemed awfully funny.
Tuberillo had the biggest laugh. Frank just smiled. We didn't get much work
done that day, but we had a pretty good time after that just shootin' the bull.
I think it was one of the nicest days I had with ol' Tuber, because I saw he
was a real person, too, under his gruff exterior.
* * * * *
I don't take much with memories, schedules and shit like that. Get it? I say
live life day by day. Ya spend your mind on a clock and ya lose it. Get it? But
that day there, yeah, it was a high one. I was jammin' with Johnny and Slips. I
play drums. We were movin' nice and smooth. Slips had some far-out riffs, when
Johnny – like that – drops out. Johnny's face kind of lights up strange,
like he was hearin' somethin', and I get these weird shivers up my back. Next
thing you know, we're playin' a new hit. Just like that! It blew our minds.
* * * * *
Oh, yes, I remember. I remember it well, for that was the day when the wind
became soft, and the desert grew quiet. My thoughts turned calm, like smooth
waters. Spirit Eagle called to me, but the sound came into me roaring, until
death took me. My body slept, but my sight awakened. And I must see the hunting
grounds, and I must feel such freedom, and I must know such secrets that leave
me hollow now, until death may come again.
* * * * *
God winks and universes quiver. IT's voice rolls forth, the Sound, and all Soul
is touched, all time, all space. What can be simultaneity but the touch of ECK?
* * * * *
What a strange experience, to be able to witness all of Time and Space in an
instant!
I knew that whether this story was literally true or not did not matter. I had
already learned that lesson, so I didn’t even try worrying about whether this
was True or False. But the odd thing was that when I tried to find the meaning
behind this experience or to understand the feelings and emotion of what I had
just written, like I did during my Second Initiation, I found my previous tools
failed me. I could not see behind the veil.
Apparently, this inner experience was not woven from a fabric of imagination.
It was not just a metaphor. This was some kind of reality at a different level.
As months passed by, I realized that the ground rules had changed again. The
lessons I had learned couldn’t unlock the mystery I was now facing. In fact,
I sensed that there was no way to figure out the meaning of this new state of
consciousness. I was simply going to have to live it to see what it really was.
This turned out to be the only course of action that worked. I would simply
experience and observe. Gradually I became more familiar with this new
dimension of life. Like getting to know a friend, the more time I spent with
it, the more I began to recognize it for what it was.
I was becoming connected to something that reached across time – something
that was a part of the very causation of reality. However, I was not prepared
for dealing with all the new feelings and thoughts that began flowing through
me. I suddenly found myself with all kinds of problems. I began struggling with
a whole range of inner troubles and conflicts, but I couldn’t separate out
which ones were my own or what I was picking up from the world.
END POST